I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
