Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I just found a bag of teeth...
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
