Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Randomize
