is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Randomize
