Umm I'm too high to move.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
