your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
