its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
