at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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