I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
