Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
