ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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