You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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