fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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