I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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