i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
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