it hurts more in the daytime
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize