Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
