I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
