What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize