She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
