haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Michael Bay diarrhea
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
