I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
