i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Can I color on your dick again?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
