Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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