remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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