you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
