im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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