do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
