Someone shit on the floor
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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