I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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