i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
