last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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