so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
