That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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