he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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