KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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