So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
