so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
