Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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