she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
