Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Just cropdusted the office
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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