Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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