Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
