I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
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