Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
There's a naked man in my car right now.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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