One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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