Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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