I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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