I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Actions speak louder than pants.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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