We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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