This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
