and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
