Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
