Define "chronic" masturbator.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
